Where da Gold at?

I'll occasionally buy a Powerball ticket when the prize climbs to nine figures. This astounds a few of my more rational friends. But for folks like me, it's not that we're ignorant to the laws of probability. We simply want a $2 day-dream enhancer. What will my first moves be when I buy the Royals? Etc. And okay maybe part of us thinks some magic remains in the universe, that destiny might just transcend probability. It's in this same spirit that I set out on a quest for the Forrest Fenn treasure.

To catch up on the Forrest Fenn story click here. Basically, a visionary gentleman hid an antique chest containing $2 million in gold and jewels somewhere in the "Rockies north of Santa Fe." He then wrote this diabolical poem:

As I have gone alone in there

And with my treasures bold,

I can keep my secret where,

And hint of riches new and old.

Begin it where warm waters halt

And take it in the canyon down,

Not far, but too far to walk.

Put in below the home of Brown.

From there it's no place for the meek,

The end is ever drawing nigh;

There'll be no paddle up your creek,

Just heavy loads and water high.

If you've been wise and found the blaze,

Look quickly down, your quest to cease,

But tarry scant with marvel gaze,

Just take the chest and go in peace.

So why is it that I must go

And leave my trove for all to seek?

The answer I already know,

I've done it tired, and now I'm weak.

So hear me all and listen good,

Your effort will be worth the cold.

If you are brave and in the wood

I give you title to the gold.

Boom! My literary analysis skills may finally come in handy. Thanks Mrs. Wareham, I'll flip you a doubloon. I had been considering my first true road trip in years down to my friend's wedding. The gold sealed the deal.

My first instincts led me to the Cimarron Canyon SP area, perhaps because it was conveniently located directly between Denver and Tucson, we'll never know. Clues started to "line up". A dam in the vicinity of the base of Agua Fria peak? Why not? Famous brown trout fishing waters, Cimarron meaning pretty much the opposite of meek, canyons, waterfalls. 6 stanza poem of 4 lines each, Highway 64!?!? Now we're cooking with gas! In reality, this was me: 

After inconclusive satellite recon, I decided I'd stop by on my way down to Tucson and see if the landscape tightened up into the poem. First impression is that it did not. The connections were loose at best (loose = opposite of tight, public service announcement for seemingly the entire internet). As Murtaugh would tell Riggs, "this is pretty thin." I even camped in the park the night before, hoping, much like Duke in City Slickers 2, to hear the gold singing "come and get me, come and get me". Nothing.

But hey, I'll take some hikes and maybe stumble upon the horde. I've never paid more attention to tree graffiti in my life. Scanned nearly all of them for "the blaze". Maybe a "FF" or better yet, a "Treasure" with an arrow pointing. Instead all I learned was that Jim Bob loved Tina, at least in 1998. Anything that looked out of place I examined. Nada. It makes you start to go crazy. And the more miles I trudged, the more I questioned how an 80 year old could carry 40 pounds of treasure this far. Or perhaps he's Jack LaLanne. In the end all I found, at the turnaround point on both trails actually, were deer bones, including a mega disconcerting pair of freshly severed legs. Time to go. 

These don't belong. Perhaps if I peer through the treasure will be.....sigh.

 I could have walked right past the chest or it could be in Montana. If I was close and you read this, send me a personal clue Forrest! I promise to re-hide the chest when my time draws near with whatever wealth I may accumulate in life (so probably my old baseball card collection) and write an equally sadistic poem.

Mr. Fenn's whole goal was to get people out enjoying nature, and I definitely did. The thrill of the hunt served as merely a bonus. Any excuse to stop at odd road side attractions, devour green chile bacon wraps in a little cafe in Taos, and blast down gorgeous back roads listening to old Black Keys, Chili Peppers, and Country Mice provides reward in itself. Thanks for the adventure!

VLA = Very Large Array

"Tom Mix wept."

Canyon de Chelly

Other road trip thoughts:

Camping alone

At various points I was to have company on this trip but jobs (Joe) and kids (Josef) and general lack of fanhood (Nick) get in the way. Such is life. No problem. My only qualm about camping alone is my vivid imagination at night. Not worried about bears or real things, more like aliens, skinwalkers, or deranged drifters. Presents the age old question: rain fly on or off the tent? Off you get better air circulation and can see the stars, but you'll inevitably wake to Bigfoot staring in at you.  All I had was my wolf knife. Next time I'll bring a dog, a gun, or a girlfriend.

And the unforeseen hiccup to camping in the Southwest proved to be fire restrictions. A raging inferno to stare at counts as company. But 2/3 campsites banned fire . Then the night devolves into me sitting in the dark drinking my illegal glass bottle beers, eating Goldfish crackers, and staring at the full moon. Still, I found some beautiful sites and had a great time.

- My trip covered around 2000 miles and yet only 3 states. That's how big the U.S. is, foreign pals. London to Istanbul is only 1900 miles, albeit one way. And I must say my new (to me) car handled itself admirably on it's first true test. You're my boy, Blue. Hwy 191 through the Apache National Forest was particularly challenging and amazing! The only road complaint? In New Mexico they seem to be holding a contest for world's worst driver. So far I'd say it's neck and neck between just about everyone!

Small town USA

Eagle's Nest, NM would qualify. Alternating American flags and big ass bald eagle flags lined the highway for a mile into town each way, in case you forgot what country you were in. I ate dinner in a small, kitschy cafe. The older hostess, in a voice mirroring the mother-in-law in No Country for Old Men, complained about presumably her oldies CD. "This ain't music with all this yelling." "Ma'am, that's James Brown!" And it was one of his tamer songs. And limited topics exist to discuss in a town of 300. The next 3 people who ambled in uttered some variation of, "Ed, so I hear they got you driving the bus." 

- Arizona, you and your wily, don't-care-about-daylight-savings-time attitude almost got me in trouble. Arrived at Catalina State Park, attempted a 3pm hike, fuck that! Started one at 5:30pm thinking I had the sunset time down pat from my previous night in western New Mexico. Forgotten time change! Got a little dicey as I bounded down the rocky path while my flashlight unsurprisingly sat back at camp. Thanks, full moon!

Animals

Saw the following: ubiquitous deer and antelope, prairie dogs (R.I.P. one, but seriously, there were no other cars within 5 miles either way and you chose to cross then!), a horned toad, eagles, hawks, huge jack rabbits, roadrunner, gila monster, a rattlesnake!, elk, and a wild Wildenradt. Unfortunately no bears. Luckily no mountain lions on my impromptu night hike. And sadly nothing otherworldly despite going through notoriously eerie locales like Taos, Dulce, Socorro, and the Navajo Reservation. I might have heard the Taos Hum though. Heard something strange. Love New Mexico, the Land of Enchantment indeed.

Your world, Bessie.

Pardon me. Do you happen to know where the gold is at?

Gah, saw this guy driving to the trailhead. Thought about that the whole hike.

- Shout-out to the biker ladies who run the Whitten Inn. I rolled in after a day of driving and hiking and still being a little hungover from the epic wedding. They took mercy on my disheveled soul and offered me the manager's special rate and a free cold beer! Thoughtful and much needed. Thanks.

Best Wedding Ever

And finally thanks to Ben and Anja for giving me the excuse to take an amazing road trip. Their couch in Brooklyn was actually the very first stop of my world tour. I've attended myriad weddings, but this seriously wins the crown. The "Hey Dude" Ranch, free orange shades, dunking on each other on 8ft basketball goals, cute vows, Cottonwood grove dinner, Caribou-Lou shots on the dance floor!!!! Any excuse to get the KU band back together is glorious, but this was next level. Thanks and congratulations!

Solemn passage of the Lack of Fanhood Award.

And now all good things must come to an end (that's a shitty saying, isn't it?). This road trip marked the last hurrah of a refreshing year of travel and adventure. Full time job search starts legit now. Ideas? Let me know. But don't feel too sad for me, a Turkey/Bulgaria/Romania trip might be in the pipeline.....and that treasure's still out there!

Final Post

As I sat on the porch of my beach hut in Goa towards the end of my trip, I had a realization. After repeated attempts by thoughtful, beautiful people to get me to do yoga, I instead sipped a Kingfisher and read about a perplexing Royals trade on my WiFi. I had not changed. No new tattoos, barely grew out my hair, new experiences but not new mindsets. Still possess a blend of situationally dependent optimism/cynicism. Still sometimes give a shit when perhaps it's not my turn to give a shit. Still well short of enlightenment. I was the same person I was before I left, and that's okay.

This was more of a needed confirmation than a realization. I approached this trip purely out of a love of travel and desire to see the world. It was supposed to be 2010. Then 2011. Finally the time was right and I went for it. But naysayers can creep into your thinking. Maybe I am lost and searching for something? Having an early mid-life crisis? Maybe U.S. Customs is right to hassle me since I don't fit their normal profiles? I confirmed on the porch that day that no, all's good. I'm far from perfect, the world's far from perfect (echoing the wise Jeff Graves' Senior Day Speech), but this trip needed to be nothing more than an attempt to meet cool new people and maybe gain some new stories, which is all I was really going for.

And what stories those are! I bungee jumped 440ft, experienced my first two earthquakes, snorkeled in three oceans. I held a grown tiger's tail, shouted "Bae!" at an elephant named Bansou, and got attacked by monkeys. I hiked 83 miles through Scotland in 5 days, met The Black Keys, taught a monk about gravity. Sat contemplatively in a dozen Buddhist wats, received a third eye bindi at a Hindu Monkey Temple, and marveled at St. Peter's Basilica. Slayed 10 teams of Brits in beer pong on the 4th of July. I bought weird stuff, ate amazing food, and laughed with delightful people.

I did this all without phone service, a laptop/tablet, vaccinations/malaria meds, a hidden travel stomach fanny pack thing, or a proper winter coat. I did this with money from a job in Education, haha! I rarely had accommodation booked more than three days in advance. I never got sick, attacked (by humans), or robbed. I used just three of my twelve Bandaids. I realize I'm jinxing the SHIT out of myself for my next journey, but my point is the world is not as difficult or scary a place as some people would try to have you believe. The world is amazing. If you are at all able to, go out and see it. We're in human form in this universe for the blink of an eye on a cosmic scale, occupying a tiny blue dot in the vastness of space. The thought of not seeing as much of that small amount of real estate as I can is unimaginable to me.

Delaney life philosophy over. In closing I'd like to thank everyone who supported me and those who have read this ridiculous blog. It's approaching 10,000 views, even if that's from just a total of 20 people. I'd especially like to thank my sister Megan and her boyfriend, Daniel, who gave me the initial push and inspiration to take this journey. My sweet mother Linda, who knows, maybe her nightly prayers did help get me through unscathed (though I'd like to give myself some credit). And all my travel partners but especially my friend Nick for braving India with me (and for his determined dedication to brainlessly comment on every blog post). And for those few who were dubious of my travels, a gentle, not-at-all-nerdy reminder from Bilbo Baggins, "Not all those who wander are lost." (Catch The Hobbit, in theaters now.....pay up Warner Bros.!)

Happy New Year to all!

Here's a link to some of my favorite pics:

Around the World in 100 Pics

Wrap-up Lists

The trip is over...and I already miss it. 17 new countries, 18 total (or 19/20 if Scotland and Cook Islands count). Here are some "Top 5" lists and back by popular demand (popular might be a strong word), my meticulous "Transportation Tracker." Might add a few categories later if I can think of more but my brain is fried and I'm secretly hoping to retire from the Blogosphere in time for 2013!

5 Favorite Cities Visited
Dubrovnik
Luang Prabang
London
Prague
Queenstown

5 Coolest Wild Animals Glimpsed
Cobra
Langur Monkeys
Sperm Whale
Red Kangaroo
Wild Horses

5 Odd Jobs I Could Fall into if Desperate
Gibbon handler
Longtail boat captain
Muay Thai promoter
Lake Taupo golf ball diver
Elephant mahout

5 Next Trips on the Wishlist
Brazil, Uruguay, Argentina, Chile
Bhutan, Nepal
Greece, Turkey, Egypt
Namibia, Botswana
Ireland

5 Best Quotes w/out Context
Did a rubble factory explode?
You've got to BE the animal.
Heck, I didn't go past the pool yesterday and don't plan to today.
Yep, he's a Sea Prince.
Back! Back to Pakistan cobra!

5 Clutch Items Carried
Ironman watch
Camelbak backpack
Tactical Cambodian scarf
Hiking boots
Ipod Nano and 70 hours of podcasts

5 Best Food Countries
India
Italy
Singapore
Germany
Australia

5 Meals Craved
Chicken Z-Man, half slab ribs, fries, Boulevard Pale Ale
Steak Burrito, chips and guac
Frida's enchiladas
Winsteads Triple Cheeseburger
Stroud's fried chicken, mashed potatoes, cinnamon rolls

5 Celebrities Seen/Met
Geoffrey Rush
Dan Auerbach
Patrick Carney
Keira Knightley
Anja Winikka

5 Movies/Shows Most Alluded to in Blog
The Simpsons
The Wire
Dumb and Dumber
Point Break
Game of Thrones

5 Brushes with Death Discomfort
440ft Nevis Bungee
Monkey Beach attack
Mumbai tuk-tuk ride
Great Glen Way Day 3 Heartattack
Almost accidentally ordered a cider


Transportation Tracker
* Separate vessels only. Round trip in same exact vehicle counts as one.

46 - Buses
31 - Shuttles
25 - Planes
23 - Boats
22 - Tuk-tuks
21 - Trains
14 - Taxis
9 - Tuk-trucks
4 - Bicycles
4 - Kayaks
3 - Camels
3 - Hitchhikes
2 - Motorbikes
2 - Mopeds
2 - Trams
1 - Golf Kart
1 - Semi-sub
1 - Toboggan
1 - Elephant
1 - Zorb
Subways: NYC, Rome, London, Brisbane, Bangkok, Singapore, New Delhi, Mumbai, Chicago

Here's a monkey contemplatively pondering my uber-deep final post.

London Part 2

As the wheels of my Virgin Atlantic flight touched down at Heathrow, it dawned on me I had officially circumnavigated the globe. My around the world trip was technically over. To celebrate, I set myself up for a night at the rather posh Marriott in Grosvenor Square. Silver status y'all! After some of the places I stayed in Asia, I deserved a place where the doorman wore a top hat!

I must say finding myself back in Western society was refreshing. I had missed the entire Autumn, so I quite enjoyed the crisp, cool air and signs of the holiday season. Pushing through extreme jet lag and lack of sleep, I wanted to use the most of my three days in London. That afternoon I explored my neighborhood which just so happened to be the American quarter. John Adams stayed in the building directly across from my hotel. I assumed the statue in Grosvenor Square was Lord Grosvenor or something, but as I got closer, it revealed itself to be FDR. And there's Reagan and Ike! And wow, I'm right next to the American Embassy. Had no idea when I booked. I continued on to sate my fascination with Speaker's Corner in Hyde Park, but sadly the soap boxes stood empty. Spent the rest of the daylight up and down Oxford Street braving the holiday crowds in search of a proper winter coat and shoes that didn't smell like death. After 3 months backpacking, I was a bit south of presentable.

Early the next morning, another man in a top hat retrieved me from the Marriott lobby and took me to a large red bus. I was embarking on the nerdiest of tours, the Windsor Castle/Stonehenge/Bath circuit run by the redundantly named Evan Evans. Unbeknownst to me, and to the perturbation of a smattering of Spanish speaking guests, the day belonged to the Japanese. Perhaps some of the language seeped into my brain, as everything the unintentionally hilarious guide said, he repeated for the 95% of the bus hailing from the land of the rising sun. Thankfully, a cool Stanford kid on his way home from a semester in Spain served as solid company for the day.

Our stops were great. Windsor Castle's displays impressed and the clear, sunny morning weather shocked us all. The Queen was even in at Windsor, but for some reason she did not seek me out to say what's up. Rude.

Schwing.

Stonehenge can be viewed two ways - in its amazing and utterly mysterious grandeur, or as some stones that you circle around shivering and then leave. I feel bad for people who view it the second way. Some of the countryside around the monoliths is really pretty too!

I wish I could have spent more time in Bath. The museum was nothing all that special but the town looked gorgeous. Did my usual warp tour of the Roman exhibit, drank the legendary water, and then scoured the quaint, picturesque town for good coffee and blog-able pics.

The bus dropped me back near the Marriott later that evening. I retrieved my bags and waited for my delightful new friend Annie, whom I had met on the very first day of my trip in Rome, to pick me up. We went to a really fun little bar called Cafe Cairo and then for dinner she took me to a Pakistani place....after having spent a month in India, haha.

My first time through London this summer I viewed many of the classic outdoor attractions. For the winter visit, I planned on ducking into some world class museums. Took the tube to the Natural History Museum and then to the British Museum. Was pretty cool to start my trip with Ben at the Met and finish at the British Museum. I then walked around a bit, just soaking in London. I really, really like it there. So fulfilling to be in a place where you can walk down a random alley and come across a sign like the one below. Also rad seeing Keira Knightley. I think she winked at me!

Rosetta Stone

Annie picked me back up in South London and after a few attempts, we found a good fish and chips pub. They really hit the spot for the last meal of the trip. Sadly, we did not top it off with her friend Tony's randomly hilarious vision of ice cream sandwiches (scoop of ice cream on normal bread, wtf?). As with so many people, I profusely thank Annie for her hospitality. Folks like her, Dennis and Karen, Lauren and Brea, Vicki and Justine, Kat, and various Toms made this trip extra special.

Sadly all good things must come to an end. I promised Linda D. I'd be home for Christmas and since I approach the threshold of cracking into my "do not touch" bank account, it seemed time to make good on that. I type this from the states and have already expertly assimilated back into American life. I've devoured a true burger (with peanut butter and bacon) and a beer with actual hops while doing the Three Men and a Baby routine at a bar with Sully, Shane, and little Levi. I rode the L successfully without having a sock full of poop flung at me. I witnessed for the first time the majesty of Ben McLemore in action. Saw a bald eagle soar while traversing icy back roads Iowa in the Wener mobile. And now sit by the tree, strange family cat stalking me, tin full of Topsy's beckoning, a world away from where I've been. Good to be back, yet I already miss it. Will wrap up the blog at the end of the week. Until then, happy holidays to you and yours!