Croatian Book Report

Croatia is a European country off the Adriatic coast. It's capital is Zagreb. The main export is corn, or as the Indians call it, maize. In conclusion, Croatia is a land of many contrasts.

 Okay. Maybe I haven't learned a whole lot about Croatia. Going in, I knew native son Toni Kukoc was a decent basketball player and I recognized it was a part of Yugoslavia until the civil war in the 90's (There were several warnings to stay on trails due to landmines. "We think we got them all" doesn't inspire supreme confidence.) After a week here, all I know is I'll miss it. Ubiquitous sun, crystal clear water, and a stupefying surplus of supermodels make for a highly recommended vacation spot.

 Croatia Top 5 

 5. Diocletian Palace, Split - This place was a true example of what we're missing in America. Emperor Diocletian's expansive retirement home now bustles with shops, bars, apartments, markets and artists. Modern life in a setting dripping with history. We spent a satisfying hour sitting on steps below grand columns, drinking a beer, listening to a talented guitar duo's Croatian rendition of Tom Petty, and watching old men pull their wives into dance. Just a perfect hour of chilling.

 4. Bus/ferry scenery - The twisting 2-lane road from Split to Dubrovnik rivals any scenic byway I've experienced. Sparsely vegetated mountains to the left, sparkling Adriatic to the right. The approach of our ferry into Split harbor as the sun rose was quite memorable as well.

 3. Krka National Park - As some of you can imagine, I had a lot of fun with that name. You reach the entrance to the park via river cruise! I'll let this pic do the talking, just remember, these are only Croatia's second prettiest waterfalls (Plitvice NP near Zagreb).

 2. Hvar Island - Hvar just makes you feel like a baller. Palm trees, huge yachts, Russian mafioso on holiday. We had a huge apartment all to ourselves with a stunning view. Hired a laid back captain to take us to the island with the "sand beach", only to discover a few feet's worth. But you just had to laugh it off, the limited supply of sand beaches might be the only thing holding Croatia back from elite vacation spot status.

1. Dubrovnik - Dubrovnik holds the same charm for me as Diocletian's Palace, just on a grander scale. Old town comprises everything within the towering fortress walls of the once powerful city-state that has also been successfully sieged by Napoleon, been under Ottoman control, and shelled during the more recent war. The place oozes history, so much so, it serves as a filming location for HBO's Game of Thrones, a show I'm an absolute sucker for. I did not fulfill my dream of punching Prince Joffery right in the mind, but at least I can say I've cliff jumped off King's Landing!

I always remember to point the toes, forget to plug me nose.

 Ben and I were lucky enough to stay inside the city walls. Ana of Ana's Hostel will require her own write-up, haha. But her place rested just steps from all the action. We had at least one wild night filled with hilarious Irish and the unsolicited shots and cigars they imposed on their new American friends.

 The pictures might not do it justice, but for me, Dubrovnik now slides right behind Cusco for coolest foreign cities I've had the pleasure to visit.

 Lowlights 

 3. Let's just say I'm happy to be done with the Croatian Kuna. Constantly dividing shit by 6 to get a sense of cost stretched my mental arithmetic skills to their limit.

 2. The night train from Split to Zagreb left a lot to be desired. To call it rickety seems an understatement and its staff consisted of large, scary Croatian men who didn't speak English and seemed to not want us to sleep.

1. He could never catch up to me all throughout Mexico and Central America, but somehow Montezuma achieved his revenge in Croatia. TMI....story of this blog.