Moronic Musings, Vol. 2

The blog name becomes more appropriate every day. My Asics are literally falling off my feet. Probably average around 5 miles a day, a great way to counteract my beer, pretzel, and tubed meats diet right now.


I have this theory that everyone on Earth can count themselves among the very best in the world at something. For me, that´s either Dr. Mario 64 or staring out the windows of trains.

I have technically now been to Bosnia and Herzegovina. The country owns a small sliver of coastline we had to pass through to get to Dubrovnik. The bus stopped. I got out. Peed. Bought an iced tea. That COUNTS! Eerily similar to how I can say I have been to North Dakota.

My hair is out of control! Hard to find an English-speaking barber right now. I´m either letting it become fully sentient or finding the Ian of the traveling world and having him 3 clip it. There is no middle.

Pretty sure we´ve pronounced Ljubljana 37 different ways.

Salzburg was a bit of a disappointment. Chose it to see some Alps, but I thought they´d be a little Alpier. Apparently my Sound of Music based research from 20 years ago, when my mom made me watch it, led me astray.

Crazy to have the dilemma where I wanted juice, but beer is multiple Euros cheaper.

I should have noted this earlier, but if anyone has tried to call or text me, I may never get it. I´m phoneless on this trip and must say, I kind of like it. Still, there are times it´d be nice. I may have to get a burner in one of these countries. Will have to make sure to get Shamrock a receipt. (Watch The Wire people!)

Bill Murray´s quote about laundry from Ghostbusters 2 holds special significance on long trips. To paraphrase, there´s not just clean and dirty. There are many subtle levels. My cousin Ben and I each have what we varyingly call our death bags or piles of doom.

Ben - "I only have one black bag. NEVER open it."

Twin vs Double rooms and the meaning assigned to those terms change by the country. When we book the wrong type, I have to build a Hadrian´s Wall of pillows and sheets to keep Captain Toss and Turn out of my business.

Central Europe seems to have these packs of rowdy Brit or Australian guys mulling around. The accents sometimes sound close at a glance, so I´ve found the way to tell the difference. Do they have sleeves? I might need to hit the weight room and invest in a man tank for Australia.

I´m moderately to spectacularly over budget. I anticipated this and hope to make up ground back in the states and Asia, but it is still slightly disconcerting. I always keep this brilliant article in mind at times like these.

http://www.theonion.com/articles/us-economy-grinds-to-halt-as-nation-realizes-money,2912/

If these blogs have just motivated the ever loving shit out of you to get out and travel, I´m still in need of a New Zealand travel buddy, mid September, just saying people!

A few miscellaneous pics to end the post. Much love to you all.