New Zealand North

Kia ora folks! I just wrapped up my all too quick tour of the North Island of New Zealand. This country is truly a playground. Every town inundates you with choices. Here's my relatively tame rundown of my activities so far. South Island might get crazier.

AUCKLAND

Auckland is Seattle-lite, amazingly so (minus the bench-offs). From the steady supply of coffee, rain, and Asians, right down to the "huge hypodermic needle giving the sky a fix." I found that a strange description, but I digress. I stayed in the Ponsonby neighborhood up on a hill with great little shops and cafes lining the main boulevard. Dead ringer for the Ballard or Queen Anne neighborhoods of Seattle. I've been lucky enough to visit my friends in Seattle several times and even almost went to grad school there, so needless to say, I also loved Auckland, the City of Sails.

The only notable activity I pursued there was the ferry and hike to the top of a little volcanic island, Rangitoto. It was a beautiful hike, though the ferry schedule was a bit rushed (running to catch the last ferry is VERY Seattle from my experience).

On the top deck of the ferry, I met Melissa and Angela from LA. We were the three cool/dumb enough to brave the insane wind up top. Ended up having a few beers and dinner with them afterwards. Angela's "Bob Saget fucking rocked America's Funniest Home Videos" statement pretty much sums up our Mensa-worthy seven hours of conversation. They were great.

ROTORUA

Rotorua apparently has earned the nickname RotoVegas. This does not vibe with my eerily quiet experience wandering the city centre and the quaint, block long night market. Many people visit Rotorua also as a hub of Maori culture. I went there to Zorb.

Zorbing has been a prominent, if not low-hanging fruit on my tree of life's goals since I learned it existed over a decade ago. I found myself drawn to the thrill and the absurdity. Ben and I attempted to tackle it in Slovenia, but we were mysteriously thwarted by the whims of their schedule. So it WAS happening here. I could lie and say the payoff was everything I dreamed of, but as I somersaulted end over end down a less impressive hill than I imagined, I found myself guffawing half because it was "weeeeee!", but half because it was ridiculous. Only place I've lost $45 quicker is on a blackjack table. A ton of fun but the operation here, the original no less, honestly seemed to lack heart. Dare I say, Zorb has gotten too corporate, haha.

This central area of the North island also serves as a geothermal hotspot (I never intend puns). I took a shuttle to Wai-o-tapu and wandered around the volcanically active grounds. Very pretty, though I've been spoiled by Yellowstone. They even had a geyser that went off every morning at 10:15 AM. Wow that's precise! Imagine my "seriously?" face when I discovered the reason, the ranger induced it with a drop of special chemical pellets! Still cool.

The setting also lends itself to a plethora of thermal hot springs choices. After some solid hikes, I figured I could use a good soak. Polynesian Spa, a stones throw from my place, proclaimed itself a "Top Ten World Spa". The setting was gorgeous, though diminished slightly by the untimely exodus of a platoon of cute Australian girls as I entered the parking lot. Classic luck. So I shared the 5 adult pools with wave after wave of Japanese tourists instead. Almost took an amazing photo of me as Waldo in the sea of the rising sun, but a few white people got in and ruined it.

TAUPO

Lake Taupo is, according to the dude who rented me a kayak, the largest lake in "Australasia" (new land mass to me, not sure what it includes but I'm certain there's a larger lake in Siberia). My first day I rowed my ass 8km out to some Maori carvings only accessible by water. I pretended like they weren't modern creations to enhance the experience even further. The carvings tell the story of Ngatoroirangi, the great Maori navigator who led his people to NZ and then further insisted they seek the great inland sea from his visions. Apparently he made them bypass Lake Rotorua, big itself, because it did not match his vision. Made for an incredible day on as gorgeous and clear a lake as I've had the pleasure to see.

These guys followed me everywhere!

The next day I planned to hike the "pregnant lady". The base of the trail is deceivingly far from town (shitty map). At one point I'm walking along a highway. 200 yards up a van pulling onto the highway stops. Mind you I was not actively seeking a ride and this struck me as a little eager. As I pass this guy, he rolls down the window and offers me a ride. Probably the nicest guy in the world, but he rocked a skullet, looked like Dwight Yoakam, and had a soiled mattress in the back. In sort of a reverse Dumb and Dumber situation, I went with my instincts on this one and did NOT saddle up partner. As he drove off, I thought, "that is a good idea though" and hitched a ride the rest of the way to the trail and then back into town, haha!

The hike afforded incredible views across the lake to Mount Tongariro and Mt. Ngauruhoe (aka Mt. Doom from Lord of the Rings). Original intention was to do the Tongariro crossing, supposedly one of the preeminent one day hikes in the world. Problem being, the active volcano freaking exploded a month or two ago, blocking sections of an already challenging (for winter/spring) trail. The pregnant lady summit more than sufficed for now.

I had to switch my hotel my final night to what turned out to be a quite rowdy one. A pack of young boys manned the stairwells asking/guessing where people were from while pointing suction cup-shooting toy guns at you. I grabbed one, shot a kid, and said "America". They seemed to enjoy that. They then warned me there was a "drunk person" upstairs. Sure enough, an Australian soon-to-be groom paced the hall in a nightgown looking to get into a room so he could flash his stag party buddies sitting at a bar across the street. I sighed and unlocked my door. "Make it quick."

My final day included a simple hike to Huka Falls and then a bus back to Auckland to catch my flight to Christchurch. Tentative plans for the South Island include whale watching, glacier viewing, jet boats down a canyon, and possibly my friend Ashley and I skydiving or at least bungee jumping in Queenstown, the birthplace of bungee. Will report on it in a week or so! Cheers.