Australian Coast

I've always wanted to go to Australia. Almost pulled the trigger on a study abroad my junior year but didn't want to miss a national championship for KU basketball. Stupid face Gerry Mcnamara and Carmelo ruined that prediction, though even had we won, weak reason to skip the chance to travel abroad. Now was my redemption.

Melbourne

Original itinerary had me skipping Melbourne. Glad I did not. I stayed in the somewhat hipster Fitzroy neighborhood at a place called the Nunnery, a converted convent. Had a few days to stroll through the Royal Botanic Gardens, see the Shrine of Remembrance, lunch in St. Kilda Beach. I even glimpsed my first celebrity, Geoffery Rush at a cafe! Then at the Victoria Market, I had my first successful barter since Peru. Talked a woman down 60% on a rubber Ipod Nano cover with the flawless tactic of "Ma'am, look at this thing. Three dollars." Too bad the other dude wouldn't budge on the Kevin Durant jersey, I needed a man tank for Oz (yes, I went to a market in Australia and seemed to only contemplate buying very American type things).

Really liked Melbourne. Seemed hip and chill. Not much specific to see, but a cool town for arts, cafe culture, etc.

Great Ocean Road

Took a day trip from Melbourne to traverse the Great Ocean Road. The tour was comically quaint. Guides told lame jokes, played an appropriate song for every occasion (when it stopped raining, I Can See Clearly Now, etc.), and threw disgusting granny candy to people who answered trivia correctly. The Brazilian doppelganger of a low-level arch-nemesis of mine was also along for the ride.

The sights were terrific though. First stop was what pushed me off the fence whether to even go or not: Bells Beach, the watery grave of Bohdi. Nevermind that scene was shot in California, I still confused the entire contingent of our short bus with multiple Point Break quotes.

 

"They'll be the group within the group. You see 'em, you'll know"

Then we heckled some wildlife. In keeping with the ghetto nature of the tour, the Kangaroos we saw were lounging on a golf course and the koala was up in a tree on some residential road we pulled into. Not quite the nature setting the brochure hinted at. Got to hold some pretty birds though....until Brazilian Squaw scared them off with her maniacal laughter and chasing.

Other stops included beautiful ocean rock formations like the 12 Apostles and London Bridge. The day was long and comically strange but gave my camera a moderate workout, which is all I could really ask.

Sydney

Sydney got about 8 hours of my time. Why? Long story that ends with "I'm a moron". But in those 8 hours I walked across the Harbor Bridge, had lunch at Bondi Beach, got threatened by and counter-threatened a drunk vagrant on the city bus, and had a Guinness and watched some playoff baseball.

My time there was basically a lay-over on a 20-hour train ride from Melbourne to Brisbane. Again, I'm not smart. If you ever find yourself jealous of my adventures, just picture my 6'2 frame trying to sleep, curled on two little train seats, knees to my chest, heels on my ass, then getting woken up by a new seat neighbor, a woman who may have nearly drowned herself in perfume, which made me delve deep into inner strength to keep from gagging to death.

Brisbane

On about 3.5/48 hour sleep scale, I spent the day in dull, rainy Brisbane awaiting my friend Ashley's arrival. To pass the time I saw Looper, one of those movies where you leave and are still asking yourself if that was good or ridiculous. I've firmly settled on good. Give it a view, cool flick.

Met Ashley at the airport where we were picked up by her friend Katherine. Had a few late beers at her house and then my head hit the pillow and eight seemingly instantaneous hours passed. Woke up to Kat being loud for what I thought was her leaving for work. Turns out her and Ashley never went to bed and now were drunkenly seeking my advice for how to call in sick (after touting her friend's visit already at work). Could tell my time here would be fun.

A random weekend followed where I found myself at a million dollar house auction (Just observing, but it was so intense I had to keep my hands in my pockets so I didn't get caught up and bid!), on a sail boat with Kat's family, and at a "grand toilet opening" aka celebration of renovations at the local yacht club. Even met a member of parliament there and an Olympic sailor gold medalist (perhaps he won this race: http://www.liveleak.com/view?i=510_1344196881 ).

Just a terrific weekend hanging out with a wild but wonderful family. Reminded me of the extended Delaneys......minus the yachts and mansion auctions. And the chance to relax, watch a real TV, do laundry, and just be in an actual house for a few days was incredibly refreshing. So grateful to Kat and her family. (Paul may deserve his own write-up at a later date.)

Airlie Beach

Next we flew to Airlie Beach, a one-strip town of dude-brahs and  Robobabes. It serves as the launch point to the 74 Whitsunday islands. We took a day trip on a roller coaster like boat to do some snorkeling and chill on Whitehaven beach, cited as one of the ten best in the world in the brochures. Saw some beautiful fish and coral during the snorkel and glimpsed about 5 large sea turtles, albeit passing by quickly in the boat. I also glimpsed a jellyfish and must have been quite the sight trying to escape it against the tide and without kicking my feet back into it. I was resigned to pee on myself, but narrowly escaped.

The remainder of Airlie time was spent lazing by the lagoon, searching fruitlessly for a trucker hat I can pull off, and watching a Kookaburra steal Ashley's sausage McMuffin. Our last night was spent at our hostel's bar with a 30 member "footy" team who gave new meaning to the term rowdy.

I swear I can swim. Everyone gets a noodle!

This drunken man on the right poured his soul out to me. Why does that always happen?

Cairns

Spent another contortionist evening on the night bus to Cairns. Cairns, lush and muggy, serves as the main gateway to the Great Barrier Reef. Seriously every other shop there is a tour booking agency. We chose to go with Ocean Magic.

A 90 minute boat ride blew my hair back like some kind of mad scientist before we arrived at their floating platform. The next 5 hours were a hilarious beehive of rushed tourists going every which way. Semi-sub leaves in 10 minutes. Gather in this corner for snorkel safari. Intro dives here. Glass bottom boat there. Buffet lunch now on. It seemed more frenetic than it needed to be at first (towards the end though, the sun and rocking motion turned the lounge deck into a scene vaguely reminescent of Gone with the Wind. People dropped like flies.)

For my part, I took both the boat and sub tour (to pad my "Transpo Tracker" stats) and spent the rest of the time snorkeling on my own. The ocean was rocking that day, but I still had fun and marvelled at the kaleidoscope of fish (though one bit my foot).

At the end of the day we signed back in so as not to be left behind ("Oh I saw that movie. Well, not really...but...yeah. I'll just sign now.") and headed home. Maybe not the most intimate way to see the reef, but still one of the cooler days of my life.

Not much else to do in Cairns. Saw one of the sadder little animal parks in existence, walked the boardwalk, and got 4th place (out of 45) in an Aussie billiard (their weird version anyway) tournament!

Did see a few reef sharks from the sub!

I got my pic with this guy, Wally, too but it didn't turn out.

I'm now in Alice Springs where it's 39 degrees....Celsius!! Do a 3 day camping tour of Uluru starting 6am tomorrow. As a present for my lovely mother's birthday (and for time constraints), I'll NOT post my Politics and Travel entry...for now. Should be able to put up 2 or 3 more posts though before I leave for Asia on the 30th. Cheers til then!