Cambodia

From the moment I departed the plane in Siem Reap my spidey senses started tingling. Maybe this was due to several prior warnings regarding Scambodia. Maybe it's because my hotel proprieter looked like The Texas Chainsaw Murderer sans mask. Or because his hotel (nice as it was) was down the darkest, most third world side street I'd been in since Guatemala. Or because I saw a bald, Marlon Brando looking guy give the Nazi salute to his pal before he noticed me in the back corner of the German place I had my first meal. Or maybe simply because Pol Pot's dark shadow looms over the country decades later. Whatever it was, my guard would be up in Cambodia.

Turns out, all I needed was Jimmy. How can you not trust a guy named Jimmy? He was my personal tuk-tuk driver. Met no one cool at my hotel, so I'd be visiting the vast Angkor Wat and accompanying temples complex alone. Jimmy would get me there.

Felt a bit like Ceasar in this chariot. My first day, we journeyed far east to Beng Mealea, a place you could "get your Indiana Jones on." An almost two hour ride through the countryside yielded dozens of smiling and waving children. So cute ("...or is it ominous, waving me goodbye?" thought my dark mind).

Cambodian gas station.

That's a pig. Lot of strange stuff on the back of motorbikes in Cambodia.

Regardless, I made it and spent a swampy afternoon scampering around impressive ruins. An old man guide even appeared out of no where and showed me around.

First result once I discovered my camera had face recognition self-shot.

The next day was temple-less as I stayed in town. Siem Reap is a trip. Neon-lined Pub Street certainly defines lively. The night markets have some decent finds and everything is in USD, which is nice. Only problem, here more than anywhere else so far, I was constantly besieged. "Sir you want massaggggge? Tuk-tuk sir? Buy something from meee." After I refuse some of those, I sometimes get, "okay, but you want weeeeed?" The one successful sale they made was a "Dr. Fish" massage....because they threw in a free beer. "You got me!" Swarms of fish nibbling on your feet counts for one of the stranger sensations I've felt in my life.

I saved my last day for Angkor Wat. Tragically, Jimmy was engaged elsewhere. So a new guy and I journeyed out. First, we went far into the country to see Banteay Srey and then Kbal Spean, which included a kilometer trek through the humming jungle to some river carvings. Then I scoured Angkor Thom, the complex where Angelina's Oscar-nominated Tomb Raider was filmed.

Controversial "Stegosaurus" carving.

Finally, made it to the main attractions, Bayon, teeming with serene face carvings, and Angkor Wat. The temples were just as inspiring as any Incan or Mayan ones I've seen. A great bonus was watching the monkeys! I included Cambodia on my itinerary solely to sate my archaeology nerdom with some world class temples. They more than delivered.

Monkey staggered shot!

Straddling poop....as in life.

Early the next morning I hopped on the back of a motorbike which took me to a random sedan which took me to the border. Flew through Cambodian side, then spent almost 4 hours in line at the Thai side!!!! I'm a patient man, but I was just short of instigating open rebellion against the king as we inched forward in sweltering humidity in a broken system conducive to cutting (escalated from my smiling revival of "no cuts, no butts, no coconuts" to outright melting people with death stares). Five more employees and some damn rope could fix the problem, but I guess the royal family needs an extra golden horse or something.

From there, a cramped shuttle van delivered me back to Khaosan road in Bangkok, the touristy area I had somehow missed the first time. I was so tired I chose the first place I came across, the Lucky Inn. Picture the Thai version of Josh's (Tom Hanks) first hotel room in the city in Big. But unlike him, I did not curl up and cry as this trip is slowly limiting my ability to be phased. And more important, I knew gorgeous Thai beaches awaited me. To be continued.....