Luang Prabang

Sa bai dee everyone. When I thought of Laos, I thought of CIA black ops crossing the border during the war. I was hoping that was all water under the bridge as I crossed the mighty Mekong into the quiet country. $20s of an unacceptable crispness for my tourist visa ("These are from an Uncle Sam ATM, beyotch! Sorry I can't stave humidity off them." Thought, not said.) and a night bus to be dealt with in a later post signaled an ominous beginning. But from there, Laos was truly amazing.

I chose to stay in one place and solely see Luang Prabang, a real charmer of a city situated at the confluence of the Mekong and Mae Kok rivers. The French colonial influence is still apparent in the hybrid architecture and delectable bread and pastries. Trade-off being, more French tourists.

My bus arrived early enough for me to see the procession of the monks for alms on the way to my hotel. This is a wondrous sight, but is mentioned so prevalently in tour books, that the older, fanny pack laden crowd with their oblivious-to-good-form camera flashes, kind of sullies it. My pre-dawn arrival also led me through the true market. Piles of frogs and fish still gasping for air at my feet are what I remember from a multitude of questionable offerings.

I finally found my hotel. Had a nice, single room but the place was overly quiet, with no fun fellow travelers. Signed up for a combination tour to the Buddhist caves and elephant camp. Awkwardly, I was the only one signed up for that particular combo (dozens to choose from). More awkwardly, it came with my own guide, a 15 year old boy named Than.

So we headed in a slow boat up the Mekong. The Mekong makes me think of 'Nam and/or where Denzel got his heroin in American Gangster. It was somewhat strange to be on it. But the ride was as nice as a 2 hour boat trip on a rickety wooden stool can be. Half way to the caves, we stopped at a local village specializing in rice whiskey production. First two samples were sweet like cough syrup, third was face-scrunching, none were Jameson. The village also had lovely textiles. Definitely got my barter on for some souvenirs for you dales.

The caves were cool. Thousands of Buddha statues had been placed there over the years. I made a donation and picked my fortune. Than remarked how great a future it foretold. Being in all Thai, I prodded Than to admit he says those sunny predictions to everyone. He said no, there are some truly ominous fortunes among the 24 possible choices. Here's hoping mine comes to fruition.

My immediate future foretold a long-awaited elephant ride. Again, alone it was a bit awkward. My nonchalant "mahout" (elephant handler) and I rode through the quiet forest. Midway, he jumped off and I scooched up to the neck and rode alone as he took a hundred pictures (including no less than 4 unrequested elephant schlong shots). The ride was borderline intimidating. Bansou was by far the largest male and they hinted he had a bit of an attitude. 13 other, safer options idled back at their base, possibly by design. And yet here I sat, at least 10 feet up in the middle of the jungle, repeatedly shouting "BAE BAE!" at a beast who could effortlessly rip and strip huge branches off trees at his leisure, mid trek. Experience I won't forget.

That night I went to bed hoping I'd awake to palatable news. Had CNN in my room and unfortunately took a morning full of Wolf and John King and their damn boards before the result was confirmed. The pseudo-break from the whole campaign had been so refreshing. I had an entire post typed up about what it was like to travel and constantly be asked about Romney vs Obama but it inevitably strayed into rants and raves on the entire system. You've all been spared! But it was quite fascinating to experience such a monumental election from a world away.

The next day, sitting at Joma, a coffee shop which served as my second home, and in walked Breanna and Lauren from Chiang Mai. Yes! Fun people to offset my boring place's crowd. The next couple days we would stroll the night market, have meals, and visit beautiful waterfalls together. Sitting around and playing cards one night with their fun hostel mates, we all somewhat reluctantly admitted how nice it can be to chill with other Americans once in a while (and a hilarious token Canadian). In my travels, Americans have been rare.

The most rewarding activity we shared however was sitting in on an English class for monks and other Lao youth. My guide Than's eyes lit up when I said I was American. Before I knew what happened, I was on his cell phone accepting an invite from his teacher/mentor Michael (another American) to join his class. I extended the invite to the girls and join we did.

The students were talented and enthusiastic. My interactions with them trended towards surreal. In a "describe each other" exercise I was complimented on the bridge of my nose (lacking in Asian cultures?). In a "why are jobs/money important?" exercise, awkward for monks to participate in, I found myself siding with gold-robed clad Nutt's views. And in the simple introduction to each other exercise, a kid asked me why it never snows in Laos and why when things fall off trees they don't go into space, with equally hilarious follow-up questions. Before I knew it, my soft sciences ass was trying to explain gravitational pulls, terminal velocity, and the orbit of the planets to Laos children. Worst/best of all, a few of them have my email and plan on seeking elaboration on my part, haha. It was the type of experience I had truly hoped to fall into on this trip!

I'm so glad I got a full five days in Luang Prabang. It had good food, stunning scenery, the best market I've encountered, and the friendliest people. I've never felt eyeballed here as a potential mark, unlike, I'm sorry to say, parts of Central America and even Cambodia as we speak. Combine the locals with the Colorado girls and it made for some terrific company. Get to Laos soon, before it's fully "discovered"!